Photo Credits goes to this site[/caption]My dad died four years ago. He had a tumor in his brain removed the year before and after that, his condition only took a turn for the worse. Those were really the hardest years for the family. While making sure we had enough money to take care of dad's needs, we also had to prepare ourselves for what's inevitable.
When he died, I cant help but feel relieved not for me but for my mom who had to give up more than my brother and I. She never showed signs of weakness even for her age. And for that I'm so proud to have the strongest woman on earth as my mother. But most of all, I'm glad that my dad's battle came to a close and it is time for him to rest.
It has been four years but it still feels like yesterday. I miss him so bad that even the thought of him would make me cry. There are times I would wake up in tears because I dreamt of him. Oh how I wish those nights would come more often.
Even if I grew up to be a pain in the neck, I know he never stopped loving me. I have disappointed him so many times. Just being who I am and what I chose to be disappointed him. But he was a very loving man. That's how his siblings and friends remember him. He would still give even if he ran out of stuff to give. Despite his bad ass action star looks, he's such a softie when it comes to me. I remember my mom alerting him of my presence in his hospital bed, nandyan na paborito mong anak (here comes your favorite son).
Perhaps if he's still with us right now, he would never allow me to leave the house and experience freedom. He would still accompany me whenever I'm about to go somewhere for the first time, for fear that I'd get myself lost. Maybe he'll still fix my shoe when it gives up on me or patch my shorts when I wreck it. Maybe he still wont give me my own keys so if ever I need to come home late, I have no choice but to wake him so he knows I'm safe and sound. I could only hope for those things.
I hope I was able to make him proud. I'm not sure I did. He never get to tell me that. But what I know is that he never stopped loving us, loving me, and that's enough. Even if I never got to tell him how much I appreciate him, I know he knew.
No comments:
Post a Comment
I respect what you are going to say. But please, refrain from name calling and other bad words. Peace!